"And now the buffoon's date at the drive-in with the school's valedictorian"

[Valedictorian:] "I really appreciate you're asking me out

Most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement"

[Buffoon:] "This movie sucks shit!"

[Valedictorian:] "Well, Ebel gave it thumbs up,

But Ciscel thought it was too preachy
Anyway, I enjoyed the director's last film immensly"

[Buffoon:] "Cathleen Turner has big fuckin' tits!"

[Valedictorian:] "Yes, well, she recently had a child

I think her maternal biology may play a role in that
She looks fabulous for a woman her age, doesn't she?"

[Buffoon:] "I put a firecracker in a bullfrog's mouth and blew his fuckin' head off"

[Valedictorian:] "Well, in psychology we learned that it is not uncommon

For male adolescents to commit savage acts on animals as part of their maturing process"

[Buffoon:] "That girl in the fucking car in front of us, she gives everybody head"

[Valedictorian:] "Well, I guess she's strong for attention and she feels promiscuity is the only way to obtain it"

[Buffoon eating popcorn]
[Buffoon:] "This popcorn's fuckin' terrible It tastes like someone jizzed all over it"
[Buffoon continues to eat popcorn]

[Valedictorian:] "Well the amount of semen on this popcorn is certainly disturbing

Perhaps the staff in the refreshment stand was overcome
By the monotony of their work and decided to play a childish prank"

[Buffoon:] "I looked at my asshole in the mirror today It blew my fuckin' mind!"

[Valedictorian:] "It's ironic that parts of one's body seems odd

And unusual because you don't see them on a day to day basis

[Buffoon:] "My father's shit stinks up the bathroom all fuckin' day!"

[Valedictorian:] "It's puzzling why one person's fecal odor can be more overpowering than another's

I wonder whether it is a function of the food digested or that person's internal metabolism"

[Buffoon:] "I'm gonna go get head from that fuckin' girl"
[Gets out of the car]

[Valedictorian:] "Well, I'm sorry to see the date come to such an abrubt conclusion"
[Buffoon walking away]
"I do appreciate the time you spent with me and look forward to a future rondevue"

[Buffoon:] "I like to piss in that guy's fuckin' gas tank!"

[Valedictorian:] "Bye bye! Have fun"
[Buffoon continues to walk away]