May I have your attention please (2x)
Will the Real Slim Shady please shut up
I repeat, will the Real Slim Shady please shut up
We're going to have a problem here

Y'all act like you've never heard a white person before
His rhymes are a bore
Punk kid trying to be hardcore
But Marshall Mathers is back worse than before
Making us snore
Whining in the microphone
It's the return of the oh, wait, no wait you're a fool
You didn't pay money for this cd, did you?
And Dr Dre did
EVERYTHING you idiot!!!
Without Dre's help you're as good as dead
The world's had enough of Eminem
Chici, Chici Even his girlfriend's cheating on him
Look at him, walking around, living off Dre,
acting so cool, but he's really kind of weak though
Little Twit blasted me on his new cd, why?
Beause I turned him down for a date (He he)
As for the question of who came first?
Was it Carson Daly or was it Fred Durst?
I'm sorry Slim, but this is going to hurt
They both came closer than you ever will, jerk!

Your song is on my nerves (2x)
You're kind of lucky, because you got more fame than you deserve
That is the message that I deliver to little kids
You can become famous, and never know what talent is
Of course they're going to like you, of course they do
You're like a cartoon version of Ricky Schroder on "Silver Spoons"
You ain't nothin' but a product,
Package to be bought up
You know, a year from now, you won't be thought of
So, you write about dead animals and cannibals
Some day you'll stop dating dogs and date higher mammals
There's a million women, just like me,
who think like me, that all can see,
that Slim Shady is just a boy dealing with puberty
So if you agree, scream louder than me

Chorus (2x)

You're Slim Shady, yes you're the real Shady
You sound like Peter Brady
You get quite irritating
So won't the real Slim Shady please shut up, please shut up, please shut up