Earl Had To Die

Mary Anne and Wanda were the best of friends
All through their high school days
Both members of the 4-H Clu
Both active in the FFA

After graduation Mary Anne went out
Lookin' for a bright new world
Wanda looked all around this town
And all she found was Earl

Well it wasn't two weeks after she got married
That Wanda started gettin' abused
She put on dark glasses and long sleeved blouses
And make-up to cover a bruise

Well she finally got the nerve to file for divorce
She let the law take it from there
But Earl walked right through that restraining order
And put her in intensive care

Right away Mary Anne flew in from Atlanta
On a red eye midnight flight
She held Wanda's hand as they worked out a plan
And it didn't take long to decide

That Earl had to die
Goodbye Earl
Those black eyed peas
They tasted all right to me, Earl

You're feeling weak
Why don't you lay down
And sleep Earl? Ain't it dark
Wrapped up in that tarp, Earl?

The cops came to bring Earl in
They searched the house high and low
Then they tipped their hats
And said thank you ladies
If you hear from him let us know

Well the weeks went by and
Spring turned to summer
And summer faded into fall
And it turns out he was a missing person
Who nobody missed at all

So the girls bought some land
And a roadside stand
Out on Highway 109
They sell Tennessee ham
And strawberry jam and they don't
Lose any sleep at night 'cause

Earl had to die
Goodbye Earl
We need a break
Let's go out to the lake Earl

We'll pack a lunch
And stuff you in the trunk Earl
Well is that all right
Good, let's go for a ride Earl hey