I may have played for the home team
Yeah, I play all sides of the field
I swing my dick on both sides of the fence
I'm a friend of Dorothy

I have a well-earned reputation for being very well-hung right

Wrong, yeah, wrong direction
Lost, yeah, I'm lost again

The light's on upstairs but nobody is home
I'm possibly mildly retarded
Now I'm appearing in porno films and wearing a chicken suit

And I'm a rude, crude, selfish stuck-up snot who possibly prefer myself

Wrong, yeah, wrong direction
Lost, yeah, I'm lost again