Don't bother going to class
Cuz nobody cares if you cut
And its not smart to experiment
With ben gay on your nuts
If you ask her out and she says maybe
What she really means is no way
And if you try jerking off behind the back stop
The team will be playing that day (oh God)

These are the things I wish I knew
There are the things I wish I knew in highschool
Yeah, these are the things, I wish I knew in highschool

Don't call the head jock a fag, even if it's true
And don't hold out for that one special girl
Cuz she'll never have sex with you (get laid)

These are the things I wish I knew
There are the things I wish I knew in highschool
Yeah, these are the things, I wish I knew in highschool

Don't let 'em see you crying, no matter how it hurts
Nobody ever got laid, cuz they were wearing a rush t-shirt (noo)

These are the things I wish I knew
There are the things I wish I knew in highschool
Yeah, these are the things, I wish I knew in highschool