Berts Brother Bart


Ernie: (coming in from the left) Hey Bert! Bert, the place looks great! You've been cleaning house, haven't you?
Bert: Yeah, I have It - it looks okay, huh?
E: Mm-hmm Wonderful
B: Okay You know why I'm concerned?
E: (shaking head) Uh-uh
B: 'Cause my brother Bart is coming to visit today
E: No kidding!
B: Yeah
E: Hey, I've always wanted to meet your brother Bart!
B: Yeah, well, look, he's gonna be here any minute now, but I wanna go into the bedroom and comb my hair and change into some new shoes So if he comes, could you make him feel at home?
E: Oh, sure Bert (Bert starts to leave) Ho-whoa, wait a second
B: What?
E: How will I know it's your brother Bart, Bert?
B: What's that?
E: Well, you see, I've never met him, and so if he comes to the door, how will I know that it's him?
B: Ah! Oh, well it's easy! For one thing, we're exactly alike
E: You are?
B: Yeah, we're twins He looks exactly like I do
E: No kidding!
B: Yeah, no kidding Isn't that exciting?
E: You mean he's got the same sort of a pointy head as you do Bert? (pointing) And does he have the same sort of little bushy-bush of black hair up on top and the same sort of beady eyes as you do Bert? (points) And does he have the same sort of, uh, cucumbery nose here, and the same sort of, uh, sticky-out ears and the same grumpy mouth? And the same no-shoulders? (grabs Bert's arm and flops it as he talks) And does he have the same sort of floppy-soggy arm as you do Bert? Huh?
B: (taking his arm back and wiping it off with the cloth as he speaks, indignantly) Uh, yeah, in ain a manner of speaking I g







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