The song I'm going to sing to you,
Is sad and that ain't half
You're not supposed to cry
Until I tell you when to laugh

I knew a girl in Kansas,
Her name was Lucy Brown
She tried to swim the river,
But she waterlogged and drowned
Now laugh! Hahaha! Now laugh! Hahaha!
You're not supposed to cry
Until I tell you when to laugh

My brother climbed a quince tree
To pick himself a quince
He ate the quince and puckered up,
And we aint seen brother since
Now laugh! Hahaha! Now laugh! Hahaha!
You're not supposed to cry
Until I tell you when to laugh

An old man down in our town,
His name was uncle Seth,
He caught his neck in a well rope,
and he jumped himself to death!
Now laugh! Hahaha! Now laugh! Hahaha!
You're not supposed to cry
Until I tell you when to laugh

There are two silly sapheads,
Across the briny sea
They think they're going to mess us up in 1943
Now laugh! Hahaha! Now laugh! Hahaha!
You're not supposed to cry
(Various laughter)