Master: Approach students Close the circle at the feet of the master You have come to me asking that I be your guide along the path of tae-kwon-leep, but be warned To learn it's ways, you must learn the ways of your own soul Let us meditate on this wisdom now

Ed: Uh sir sir ooo! ooo! Sir!

Master: Who disturbs our meditation as a pebble disturbs a pond?

Ed: Me Ed Gooberman

Master: E Ed Gooberman

Ed: Yeah No disrespect or nothing, but like how long is this going to take?

Master: Tae-Kwon-Leep is not a path to a door, but a road leading forever towards the horizon

Ed: So like, what, an hour or so?

Master: No, no We have not even begun upon the path Ed Gooberman, you must learn patience

Ed: Yeah, yeah, patience How long will that take?

Master: Time has no meaning To a true student, a year is as a day

Ed: A year! I wanna beat people up right now! I got the pajamas Ha yo wa wooo!

Master: Beat people up?

Ed: Yeah, just show me all those nifty moves so I can start trashing bozo's That's all I came here for Yo-as-ta-ta-shah! Pretty good aye?

Master: The only use of Tae-Kwon-Leep is self defense Do you know who said that? Ki-lo-knee, the great teacher

Ed: Yeah, well the best defense is a good o-fense Do you know who said that? Mel, the cook on Alice

Master: Well, umm Tae-Kwon Leep is the wine of purity, not the vinigar of hostility Meditate on this truth with us Ahhh ohhhhh

Ed: Listen shrimp, now are you gonna show me those nifty moves, or am I gonna start waping the walls with you?

Master: Ed Gooberman, you fail to grasp Tae-Kwon Leep Approach me so that you may see

Ed: Alright, finally some action

Master: Observe closely class Boot to the Head [boom]
Ed: Ow, you booted me in the head!

Master: You are lucky Ed Gooberman Few novices experiece so much of Tae-Kwon Leep so soon

Ed: Ow, oh, my head

Master: Now we continue

Ed: Hey, hey, I wasn't ready! Come and get me now, come on, are you chicken?

Master: Boot to the head [boom]
Ed: Ow! Okay, now I'm ready, come on, try it now
Master: Boot to the head [boom]

Ed: Mind if I just lie down here for a minute? Ow

Master: Now class, we shall return to our

Student 1: Master

Master: It is wrong to tip the vessle of knowledge student

Student 1: Many apologies master, but I feel Ed Gooberman is not wholly wrong

Master: What do you mean?

Student 1: I want to boot some head too
Master: Have you learned nothing from the lesson of Ed Gooberman?

Student 1: Yes master, I have learned two things First, that anger is a weapon only to ones oppenent

Master: Very good

Student 1: And get in the first shot Boot to the head [half a boom]
Master: You missed

Student 1: Uh, yeah, well

Master: You to shall be honored to learn a lesson

Student 1: Ya know, I can you don't have to ya know I gotta be going

Master: Boot to the Head [boom]

Student 1: ooo ya ehh ooooogggg awwwwww

Master: Can anyone tell us what lesson has been learned here?

Student 2: Uh, yes master, not a single one of could defeat you

Master: You gain wisdom child

Student 2: So we'll have to gang up on you! Get him now!

Master: Boot [boom] boot to [boom] ht [boom], [boom], [boom] [boom] [boom], [boom] [boom] [boom]

Master: And now class, let us rejoin the mind to the body, and gaze into the heart of the candle in meditation Ahh owwww

Students: ahhh oooooowwwww

Master: Very good, class