Debbie: I have heard, among this clan, you are called the forgotten man
Iggy: Is that what they're saying? Well, did you evah!
Both: What a swell party this is!

Iggy: And have you heard the story of a boy, a girl, unrequited love?
Debbie: Sounds like pure soap opera I may cry
Iggy: Aw
Both: What a swell party this is!

Iggy: What frails!
Debbie: What cocks!
Iggy: What broads!
Debbie: What jocks
Iggy: What furs! They're beautiful!
Debbie: Why, I've never seen such
Both: yuppity!
Debbie: Neither did I
Iggy: It's all just too
Both: swellegant!

Debbie: This French champagne
Iggy: (Domestic!)
Debbie: so good for the brain
Iggy: That's what I was gonna say!
Debbie: Well, you know you're a brilliant fellow
Iggy: Thank you, I am!
Debbie: Hehe, drink up Jim

Iggy: So have you ever been out to LA lately?
Debbie: Well no, not recently
Iggy: Well, I went there and had a rent-a-car and all
Debbie: Oh, really?
Iggy: Yeah and I got invited to Pia's house Pia Zadora's house
Debbie: Really? Oh
Iggy: Yeah
Debbie: Was it nice?
Iggy: Well, I didn't I didn't go!
Debbie: Oh! Hehe
Iggy: It woulda been swell though!
Debbie: Shoulda gone!
Iggy: It woulda been elegant!
Debbie: Elegant
Oh wait, look look who's coming in now can you believe it?
Iggy: I hear they dismantled Pickfair
Debbie: They did
Iggy: It wasn't elegant enough Hehe!
Debbie: Yeah Probably full of termites
Iggy: Yeah

Both: It's great!
It's grand!
Wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wonderland!
La la la la la la la la la la la la la
We sing so rare, like old Camembert

Iggy: Have you heard the dying star - she got bit in the Astar bar
Debbie: Sauced again! Well, did you evah
Both: What a swell party this is!

Have you heard?
It's in the stars
Next July we collide with Mars
Well did you evah!

What a swell party
What a swell party
What a swellegant elegant, (sm) party
Debbie: Smarty?
Iggy: Party yeah!
Debbie: A smarty party?
Iggy: I am! A smarty! I'm pretty smart!
Debbie: You are a smarty for coming to this party
Iggy: Yeah, that's right!
Debbie: Well piss off
Iggy: Hehehe, that's good! I like that