Eddie: Honeybunch,
Sad to say, but I have a hunch,
Screen romances went out to lunch,
That's no reason to pout

Don't look bleak,
Happy endings can spring a leak,
"Ever after" can mean one week,
We're just having a drought
Smile and sweat it out

If we can just hang on,
We'll have compatability
No need to worry,
We're gonna be all right
One day the ache is gone,
There's nothing like senility
So what's your hurry?
We're gonna be all right

Meanwhile, relax!
I'll take a lover, you take a lover
When that's played out,
They get the axe,
We can retire,
Sit by the fire,
Fade out

We'll build our house upon
The rock of my verility
Better scurry,
We're gonna be all night,
Oh, boy! we're gonna be all right

Jennifer: I was told
"Just be faithful and never scold,"
Sounded easy, so I was sold
I've been miserable since

I was taught
When the prince and the dragon fought,
That the dragon was always caught
Now I don't even wince
When it eats the prince

I know the perfect pair
Their lives are at the pinnacle
But how do we know
They're gonna be all right?

The bride is slightly square,
The groom is slightly cynical
A little vino,
They're gonna be all right

She aims to please,
She has a baby,
Then, though they may be
Having fine times,
When there's a crease,
She has another,
Now she's a mother
Nine times!

It all went wrong, but where?
Details are strictly clinical
She's out in Reno,
The kids're 'doring the flight,
Hi ho, they're gonna be all right

(dialogue)

Jennifer: I couldn't find Mauro

Eddie: Well, we could walk to the cinema

Jennifer: and save the gondola for another night?

Eddie: Sure you wouldn't mind?

Jennifer: Not if you don't

Eddie: Oh no, I don't

Jennifer: Then neither do I There Y'see?

Eddie: "I see" said the blind man

Jennifer: "I hear" said the deaf lady

Eddie:So they joined the circus and lived happily ever after

Both: *giggle*

(song)

Eddie: Things will heal
I know couples who look ideal,
They no longer know what they feel,
They've been practicing charm

All is well,
'Least as far as their friends can tell
Please ignore the peculiar smell,
There's no cause for alarm
Mildew will do harm

Jennifer: What if her brain is dead?

Eddie: What if he's ineffectual?

Both: They look delicious,
They're gonna be all right

They both go right to bed
When they feel intellectual
No one's suspicious,
They're gonna be all right

Jennifer: Who's on the skids?
She goes to night school--

Eddie: If it's the right school,
He'll permit her

Jennifer: They love the kids,
They love their friends, too--

Eddie: Lately, he tends to
Hit her

Jennifer: Sometimes she drinks in bed,

Eddie: Sometimes he's homosexual

Both: But why be vicious?
They keep it out of sight!
Good show!
They're gonna be all right
And so,
We're gonna be all right
Hi ho!
We're gonna be all right!