The jester hops on the leg of time,
The scourge of the wizard nation
Magical chanting is no crime,
When you're suckled by a blind Alsatian
Who stole the leg of time?

Seen through the eyes of Murgar's kestrel
Where's the tiny mouse? There it is
Ah ha ha
Ah ha ha

Ride a white pig to the edge of Lapland
Why did I do that?
Why did I do that?
I don't know

Who stole the leg of time?
When time had one leg it couldn't march
It stopped
It hopped
Who stole the leg of time?

Was it the wizards? No
Was it the goblins? No
Was it the elves? No
Was it the dwarves? Nooo
Was it the kestrels? No
Was it the satyrs? No
Was it the brain police? What?

Was it the man with the key to the door of reality,
Underneath the mat of insignificance? Nope

Well, who was it then?
Was it the terrorists? No
Was it the pterodactyls? No

It was Terry!
Terry!
Terry stole the leg of time

Cockney Medley!

Oh Terry you slag you nicked the leg of time
Give it back before you get a slap
Take it down the dog and duck and leave it behind the bar
Or you'll get a slap sunshine

Don't give me no rabbit!
Leave it behind the bar
Get off me sister
Leave it behind the bar
Give me half a pound
Leave it behind the bar

Who stole the leg of time?
Terry stole the leg of time