Mr Jones knows The Stones
Rock 'n' roll is in his blood and in his bones
Shines his shoes, kicks some ass
Counts the booze and laminates his pass
Does some wizz, loves the biz
Your Eric Clapton's and your Nancy's and your Sids

Mr Jones helped me understand
The worthless piece of lowlife that I am
Changed the rules took control
Bribing the ref and widening the goals

Mr J's master plan
Fifty ways to patronize the fans
Life is cheap, buy some now
Satisfy the sheep, sacrifice the sacred cow

Born to boogie, disco Tex
Mr Groovy, the God of groupie sex
Born to boogie, knows the Stones
The only thing in common between me and Mr Jones

Verbal gymnastics can't help you now
We've got fifty tons plastic
We're gonna laminate your house

Born to boogie, disco Tex
Mr Groovy, the God of groupie sex
Born to boogie, knows The Stones
The only thing in common between me and Mr Jones

Mr Jones, super cool
While you were out
We were pissing in your pool