(Italian accent makes him sound like he's swearing when he's not)

In the morning I go down to eat breakfast,
I said to the waitress I want to pieces of toast,
She brings me only one piece,
I tell her I want to piece,
She said go to the toilet,
I say you dont understand,
I wanna piece on my plate,
she said you better not piss on your plate you son of a bitch,
I dont even know the lady and shes calling me son of a bitch

I dont need this shit!

Later I go down to eat at the big restaurant,
the waitress brings me a spoon and a knive,
but no fork,
I tell her i wanted a fork,
she telling me everybody want a fuck,
i say you dont understand,
I wanna fork on my table,
she says you better not fuck on the table you son of a bitch,
I dont even know the lady and shes calling me son of a bitch

I dont need this shit!

So I go back to my room in a hotel,
and there are no sheets on the bed,
called the manager and tell him I want a sheet,
he says go to the toilet,
I say you dont understand,
I wanna sheet on my bed,
he says you better not shit on my bed you son of a bitch,
I go to the check out and the man at the desk says 'peace on you',
I say 'piss on you too you son of a bitch, Im going back to Italia, holiday dench'

I dont need this shit!