Schools out, Christmas Break
Home for the holidays meatloaf and fruitcake

Off to grandmas, it's so boring
Screaming kids and grandpa's snoring

My aunt margaret's lost her mind
She's trippin' on a train set, have another box of wine

It's gonna be a merry merry merry frickin' Christmas
I must be on santa clauses shitlist
The tree, the gifts, the mistletoe kiss
Shoot me now, I'm sick of all my relatives
Have a merry merry merry merry frickin' Christmas

Uncle Richard he's a weirdo
Passing out pictures of himself in a speedo

My cousin' Ashlee her singing really sucks
Blames it on her drummer and acid reflux

My brother's wife, is really hot
She pulled me in the bathroom, I hope we don't get caught

We haven't even opened our presents yet but now it's time to start
I'll fake a smile 'cause it's going back to Wal-Mart