Jesus is coming
It's been too many years
I hope he brings me forgiveness
And some cool souvenirs
Like some wings and a halo
I can wear now and then
Or a brand new commandment
That'll prove he's my friend
Jesus is coming
He's got a new bag of tricks
No more walking on water
No more healing the sick
But he can sure pick the horses
And he makes a mean sauce
And let's not forget
How he came down off that cross

Jesus, if you're coming
Could you hurry please?
I've been praying forever
It's getting hard on my knees
Jesus, if you're coming
Could you please come alone?
I've got no room for the faithful
Leave them disciples at home

Jesus is coming
He's stuck in Atlanta
They shut down the airport
He's having cocktails with Santa
They're both incognito
Wearing blue business suits
The waitress is giggling
She thinks Jesus is cute
Jesus is coming
He's gonna hang with Madonna
I think they're related
She's named after his mamma
He's gonna stand on the corner
He's gonna howl at the moon
Tell the world that will listen
"Hey, I'll be there soon"

Jesus, if you're coming
Could you send me a sign?
Well, could you send me an angel
To steal this heart of mine?
Jesus, if you're coming
Could you send her soon?
She could crash on the sofa
I got plenty of room

Jesus is coming
He's gonna tend to his flock
Have a big comeback special
Like Elvis, Jesus will rock
Jesus is coming
Yeah, that's the company line
But Jesus ain't coming
He's been here all the time

Jesus, if you're coming
When you make it back
If you're judging the wicked
I hope you cut me some slack
Jesus, if you're coming
I hope you're coming tonight
'Cause I'm alone in the darkness
And I could sure use the Light

Jesus is coming