I am just a regular everyday normal guy
Nothing special about me Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy
When I go to the clubs I wait in line Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy
I got 600 dollars In the bank Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy
And my sexual performances are average

I work at customer service for a phone company
I make 12 bucks an hour but that's all I need
I live in a small apartment on a quiet street
I don't go out too much I like to watch TV
I can't afford a car I use public transportation
I don't mind I read 'til I reach my destination
Sometimes a newspaper, sometimes a book
The amount of money I save this shit is off the hook

And I am not very good with the women
I'm a pretty shy person and I'm average looking
Last time I had sex was in 2003
And I am ashamed to admit but it wasn't free

I am just a regular everyday normal guy
I get nervous in social situations Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy
I get constipated once a month Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy
And I make pretty good spaghetti sauce Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy
And I get scared when I go see the dentist

I'm the "Pauly Shore" of everyday life
Easily forgettable and I am not very liked
I have an "According to Jim" personality
I'm as entertaining as a fucking STD

If you wanna mess with me I think you probably can
Because I am not confident and I am weak for a man
I'll just roll up in a ball while you kick me in the back, yeah
Honestly I probably wont fight back
And I don't have many friends that would back me up
My friend Steve would but he doesn't look very tough

If you rarely get laid put your hands up
If you're not well paid put your hands up
If you got a pet cat put your hands up
And if you got a bad back put your hands up

I am just a regular everyday normal guy
My parents are really nice people Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy
I am somewhat afraid of heights Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy
I like the show "Greys Anatomy" Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy
And I am pretty good at making paper planes