Many, many years ago when I was seventeen I was married to a widow who
was pretty as could be This widow had a grown up daughter who had hair
of red My father fell in love with her and soon they, too, were wed

This made my dad my son-in-law and it changed my very life
For my daughter was my mother though she was my father's wife
To complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy

This little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad
And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad
For if he was my uncle then it also made him brother
To the widow's grown up daughter who, of course, was my stepmother

I am my own grandpaw
Yes, I am my own grandpaw
It sounds funny, I know
But it really is so
I am my own grandpaw

Father's wife then had a son who kept them on the run
And he became my grandchild 'cause he was my daughter's son
My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue
Because, although she is my wife, she's my grandmother, too

And if my wife is my grandmother, I am her grandchild
And everytime I think of it, oh, it nearly drives me wild
For now I have become the strangest case you ever saw
As husband to my grandmother, I am my own grandpaw, oh

I am my own grandpaw
Yes, I am my own grandpaw
It sounds funny, I know
But it really is so
I am my own grandpaw