Here's a shocking revelation for you voyeurs
Such a heinous deviation, there are no cures
I'm a mineralist, I'm a mineralist
JUst the thought of ironing gives me spasms of lust
I creep up to hold wrecked cars and lick off the rust
I'm a mineralist, I'm a mineralist
Mother used to try to metal in my affairs
Keep your nose up off that grindstone, people will stare
Get the lead out of your pants and change your underwear
I've been stealing baby bottles since I was born
I'll go blind from balling bearings, doctors have warned
I like making out with steel-rimmed glasses more than horned
Erik Satie gets my rocks off, Cage is a dream
Philip Glass is mineralist to the extreme
I like tickling ivories and fingering stones
When my mercury goes up I play with my bone
People take for granite my pervversion is wrong
I'm not harming anyone by beating my gong
I'm a mineralist, I'm a mineralist
I'll make love to minerals as long as I can
And in fifty years I'll be a jaded old man
I'm a mineralist
I'm a mineralist
I'm a mineralist, I'm a mineralist

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Eric Wincentsen
Glendale Community College,
Glendale, Arizona
"Give me ten wheels for Jesus!"
-Elvis Hitler
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