Hailie: Dick what are you doing?

Eminem and Hailie: Okay then! Everybody listen up!

Eminem: I'm goin' to hell! Who's comin' with me???!?

Hailie: Somebody please help him! I think my dick's gone crazy

Verse 1
There's no mountain I can't climb, there's no tower too high, no plane that I can't learn how to fly/what do I gotta do to get through to you, to show you there ain't nothin' I can't take this chainsaw to?/Fuckin' brains, brawn and brass balls, I cut'em off, and got'em pickled and bronzed in a glass jar inside of a hall/ with my framed autographed sunglasses with Elton John's name on my drag wall, I'm out the closet, I've been lyin' my ass off/All this time me and Dre been fuckin' with hats off (Suck it, Marshall) So tell Laura and her husband to back off/ before I push this muthafuckin' button and blast off and launch one at these Russians and that's all/blow every fuckin' thing except Afghanistan on the map off When will it stop? When will I knock the crap off?/Hailie, tell 'em baby,( My Dick's Lost It!!)

Chorus
There's really nothin' else to say, I I can't explain it/I think my dick's gone crazy / A little help from Hailie Jade, won't you tell 'em baby/I think my dick's gone crazy / There's nothin' you could do or say that could ever change me/I think my dick's gone crazy/There's no one on earth that can save me, not even Hailie/I think my dick's gone crazy

Verse 2
It's like my bitch always told me, rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana and codeine and/ goddammit you little bitchfucker if you ain't got nuthin' nice to say then don't say nuthin'/"¦uh, fuck that shit mother eat a bitchfuckin' dad, chew on a prick and lick/a million bitchfuckin' cocks per second, I'd rather put out a bitchfuckin' gospel record/I'd rather be a pussy whipped mother, eat pussy, and have pussy lips glued to my face with a clit ring in my nose then quit bringin' my flows/ quit givin' me my ammo Can't you see why I'm so mean? If y'all leave me alone this wouldn't be my MO/I wouldn't have to go, eenee, meenee, meini, mo, catch a homo by his toe, man I don't know no more/am I the only fuckin' one who's normal any more?/Dick

Chorus

Verse 3
My songs can make you cry, take you by surprise at the same time, can make you dry your eyes with the same rhyme/see what you're seein' is a genius at work, which to me isn't work, so it's easy to misinterpret it at first/cus when I speak, it's tongue-in-cheek, I'd yank my fuckin' teeth before I'd ever bite my tongue/I'd slice my gums, get struck by fuckin' lightning twice at once and die and come back as Vanilla Ice's son/and walk around the rest of my life spit on, and kicked and hit with shit everytime I sung/like R Kelly as soon as "Bump and Grind" comes on More pain inside of my brain than the eyes of a little girl/ inside of a plane aimed at the World Trade, standin' on Ronnie's grave, screamin' at the sky, till clouds gather, it's Clyde Mathers and Bonnie Jade/and that's pretty much the gist of it, the parents are pissed but the kids love it 9 millimeter heater stashed in 2 seaters with meat cleavers/I don't blame you, I wouldn't let Hailie listen to me neither

Chorus

Hailie:
Crazy
Ha Ha Ha
You're Funny Dick!