When I was young I had a twist of punching babies with me fist
And I thought I would enlist and join the british army

Too ra loo ra loo ra loo, they're looking for monkeys up in the zoo
If I had a face like you, I would join the British army

When I was young I used to be as fine a man as ever you'd see;
The Prince of Wales, he said to me, "Come and join the British army"

Sarah Camdon baked a cake; it was all for poor old Slattery's sake
I threw meself into the lake, pretending I was balmy

Corporal Duff's got such a drought, just give him a couple of jars of stout;
He'll kill the enemy with his mouth and save the British Army
Too ra loo ra loo ra loo, Me curse is on the Labour crew;
They took your darling boy from you to join the British army

Captain Heeley went away and his wife got in the family way,
And all the words that she would say was "Blame the British Army"
Too ra loo ra loo ra loo, I've made me mind up what to do
I'll work my ticket home to you and leave the British army