Tonight at eight, you shoulda seen
A chauffeur pull up in a rented limousine
My neighbours burned! They like to die!
When I tell them who is getting in and going out is I

If they could see me now
That little gang of mine
I'm eating fancy chow and drinking fancy wine
I'd like those stumble bums to see for a fact
The kind of top drawer, first rate chums I attract
All I can say is 'Wow, ' Look at where I am
Tonight I landed, pow! Right in a pot of jam
What a set up! Holy Cow!
They'd never believe it
If my friends could see me now

If they could see me now, my little dusty group
Traipsing around this million dollar chicken coop
I'd hear those thrift shop cats say 'Brother, get her! '
Draped on a bed spread made from three kinds of fur

All I can say is 'Wow' wait til the riff an' raff
See exactly how, he'd sign his autograph
What a build up! Holy cow!
They'd never believe it
If my friends could see me now

If they could see me now, alone with Mister V
Who's waiting on me, like he was a maitre d'
I'd hear my buddies say 'Crazy what gives?
Tonight she's living like the other half lives! '

To think the highest brow, which I must say is he
Should pick the lowest brow, which there's no doubt is me
What a step up! Holy cow!
They'd never believe it
If my friends could see me now

What a step up! Holy cow!
They'd never believe it
They'd never belive it
If my friends could see me now
Hi girls it's me, Charity!