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He's a serious mister Shake his hand and he'll twist your arm With Monopoly money We'll be buying the funny farm So I'll do flips And get paid in chips From a diamond as big as the Ritz Then I'm calling it quits Calling it quits
Eyes the color of candy Lies to cover the handicap And though your slippers are ruby You'll be led to the booby trap Well, there's no prize Just a smaller size So I'm wearing the shoe until it fits Then I'm calling it quits Calling it quits
Now he's numbering himself among the master minds (Calling it quits) 'Cause he's hit upon the leverage of valentines (Calling it quits) Lifting dialogue from Judy Garland story lines Where get-tough-girls turn into gold mines
And oh those Polaroid babies Taking chances with rabies Happy to tear me to bits Well I'm calling it quits Calling it quits
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