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I used to go to all the parties And make love to all the beautiful ladies And I'd eat cheeseburgers with bacon and extra grease when I was hungry And drink Windex Colladas until my skin turned blue But now,the times they are a-changing My lifestyle, it is rearranging For debauchery may be fun and entertaining But it is also very bad for you Do you know how many diseases you can get Making love to someone who has not had all their tests So nowadays, I am celibate And I wear a condom, in case I have dirty thoughts I never drive my car past the speed limit And I always wear my seat belt when I am in it I traded my Lambourghini for a Honda Civic Because it is more fuel-efficient and practical Ay-yi-yi! Ay-yi-yo! Being boring is the way to go! Ay-yi-yi! Ay-yi-yo! Having fun is bad for you! I can no longer smoke my cigarettes Because I found that they are a major cause of death The tar and nicotine have not killed me yet But if I got pregnant, they could hurt my baby I used to love my sorry complexion (sorry?) I tanned myself to perfection But the sun can give you a cancerous infection So now I'm white and pasty and I never leave the house I used to eat like there was no tomorrow But then I found cholesterol is full of sorrow The last thing I want to do is to have to borrow Somebody else's heart, because mine is full of fatty deposits Ay-yi-yi! Ay-yi-yo! Being boring is the way to go! Ay-yi-yi! Ay-yi-yo! Having fun is bad for you! Having fun is bad for you!
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