+Al 'N' Yetta Al 'n' Yetta always sit togedda, Watching TV every single night Munching popcorn from a dish, While observing Dorothy Gish (Dorothy Gish) Dorothy ...

+America's A Nice Italian Name I live in Italy, the sky is sunny 'T'sa nice-a place 't'sa nice-a place And if you think the way I talk is funny, Shaddup-a you ...

Oh, here's a song, An average song It's not too short, It's not too long It's not too high, It's not too low, It's not too fast, It's not too slow It's not too ...

AUTOMATION (Alan Sherman) It was automation, I know That was what was making the factory go It was IBM It was Univac It was all those gears going Clickity clack...

+Barry Is The Baby's Name We'll call him Barry, Barry That'll be the baby's name We thought of Lance or Josh, But, oh, my gosh, They're not the same But if it's...

+Beautiful Teamsters Beautiful Teamsters, please let me join Can't drive a truck, but I'm willing to loin Beautiful Teamsters, I love youse all That's why I'm s...

(parody of "Chim Chim Cheree" by Dick Van Dyke, From the movie "Mary Poppins") Chim chiminey, chim chiminey, chim-chim-cheree; Those are three words that don't ...

"Eight Foot Two, Solid Blue" Last night I met a man from Mars, and he was very sad He said, "Won't you help me find my girl friend, please?" So I asked him, "Wh...

+Good Advice I know a man named Otis who invented a room, And his heart was filled with pride I said to Mr Otis, "What does your room do?" He said, "It goes fro...

+Green Stamps Thrill me with your Green Stamps I love your little Green Stamps I took collecting Green Stamps I love the way they look Oh how I love to pick the...

+Grow, Mrs Goldfarb, Grow Grow, Mrs Goldfarb, fatter, fatter Pile the potatoes on your platter Listen to me, 'cause I'm your hubby I just adore you plump and ch...

+Hail To Thee, Fat Person I would like to explain how it came to pass that I got fat Ladies and gentlemen, I got fat as a public service When I was a child, my ...

+Harvey And Sheila Harvey and Sheila, Harvey and Sheila, Harvey and Sheila, Oh, the day they met Harvey and Sheila, Harvey and Sheila, Harvey and Sheila, No one...

"Headaches" Headaches, headaches Aspirin commercials give me headaches Just when I'm feeling chipper as you please, That's when they show me all my sinus caviti...

+Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh (A Letter From Camp) Hello Muddah, hello Fadduh, Here I am at Camp Granada Camp is very entertaining, And they say we'll have some f...

+Here's To The Crabgrass Here's to the crabgrass, Here's to the mortgage, In fact, here's to Suburbia Lay down your briefcase, Far from the rat race, Where noth...

+Holiday For States There are songs about Montana, And New York and Indiana, But the song the nation patiently awaits Is the song I now will bring you, As I cle...

+Hungarian Goulash No 5 If you like Hungarian food, They have a goulash which is very good Or if you wish a dish that's Chinese, Somewhere down in Column B ther...

+I Can't Dance I can't dance I can't dance Besides, I'm two feet shorter than the girls are All these dancing parties are just plain dum When they asked, I shou...

(parody of "If I Were A Rich Man" from Fiddler On The Roof) Oh, New York is changing Wherever you look, Big tall buildings by Tishman Tishman, ahh If I were a T...

(parody of "It's A Most Unusual Day" by Ray Noble & His Orchestra, From the movie "A Date With Judy") It's a most unusual play; Feel like throwing my tickets aw...

+J C Cohen Listen, all you children, to my sad refrain, About a subway conductor on a runaway train Squeezing people into cars, he won his fame (yeah) And John ...

+Kiss of Myer Di-de-di-de-di-de-di (di-de-di-de-di-de-di) Di-de-di-de-di-de-di (di-de-di-de-di-de-di) Di-de-di-de-di-de-di (di-de-di-de-di-de-di) Di-de-di-de-di...

+Little Butterball I'm called Little Butterball, Dear Little Butterball, 'Though I could never tell why My calories mount My cholesterol count Is as high as an ...

+Lotsa Luck When you're driving through the desert, and your car runs out of gas, Lotsa luck, pal, lotsa luck When you try to stop some strangers they will holl...

+Mexican Hat Dance Oh Americans dance on a dance floor And the Spaniards, they dance on a table And the Russians, they dance on a saber But the Mexicans dance o...

My Aunt Minnie bought a mini-skirt, A mini-skirt, A mini-skirt She's too skinny for a mini-skirt Such a skinny creature Shouldn't feature such a feature But my ...

Blood! Blood! My son, the vampire, He'll make you a wreck Every time he kisses you, There'll be two holes in your neck Blood! Blood! My son, the vampire, He ...

+No One's Perfect We would now like to salute all of the beautiful singing groups all over the world When the Norman Luboff Chorus Sings a song like this (like ...

+One Hippopotami One hippopotami cannot get on a bus, Because one hippopotami is two hippopotamus And if you have two goose, that makes one geese A pair of mous...

+Pills There are pills that make you happy There are pills that make you blue There are pills to kill your streptococci There are pills to cure your cockeye too...

Plan ahead! Plan ahead! That's what the wise man said Success is hard to win, but you can win it If you do a lot of thinking in advance and make the necessary P...

+Pop Hates The Beatles My daughter needs a new phonograph She wore out all the needles Besides, I broke the old one in half I hate the Beatles She says they hav...

+Rat Fink I say F-I F-I-N F-I-N-K Fink F-I-N-K, fink, fink, fink, fink I say R-A R-A-T R-A-T-T Rat R-A-T-T F-I-N-K, rat fink (yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah) Rat fi...

From Dali!caesarcsmontanaedu!ogicse!emory!swrinde!csutexasedu!uunet!microsoft!phillipg Thu Dec 7 15:45:23 MST 1989 Article 7149 of rechumor: Path: Dali!caesarc...

(parody of "Secret Love" by Doris Day, from the movie "Calamity Jane") Once I had a secret code, Where A was B, and B was G G was K, and K was J; And J was M, a...

+Shine On, Harvey Bloom My name is Mr Bloom, and I'm from New Rochelle, And I sing this happy tune, Because my son, the astronaut, young Harvey Bloom, Has lande...

+Shticks Of One Kind And Half A Dozen Of The Other She wheels her wheelbarrow Through streets that are narrow, Her barrow is narrow, her hips are too wide So wh...

Keep off the grass Children at play No deposit, no return No casting today Wait for the dialtone Do not fold, do not bend Do not open till Christmas Open other ...

(parody of "Spanish Flea" by Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass) It's good to be a Spanish flea The Spanish dogs all scratch at me I make my home in a spaniel Call...

(parody of "Strangers In The Night" by Frank Sinatra) Soupy doopy doop, Oh soupy doopy Soupy doopy doop, Oh soupy doopy Strange things in my soup, That's what I...

(parody of "That Old Black Magic" by Glenn Miller & His Orchestra, From the movie "Star-Spangled Rhythm") That old back scratcher has me in it's spell, That old...

+The Bronx Bird Watcher On a branch of a tree sat a little tomtit, Singing willow, tit willow, tit willow An uncomfortable place for a boidie to sit, Singing wi...

Oh, I'm on the Drinking Man's Diet, It came from a book I was loaned It's really terrific and quite scientific And I'm half stoned For breakfast some cornflakes...

+The Dropouts' March (No more pencils, no more books, No more teachers' dirty looks Dropouts! dropouts! Yeah team!) On, dropouts, down the field, Ain't we the...

This is the start of the Laarge Daark Aardvark Song (bum-bum-bum-bum, bum-bum-bum, bum, yeah yeah yeah!) There is a large dark aardvark in the park, They say he...

+The Let's All Call Up AT&T And Protest To The President March It's the "The Let's All Call Up AT&T And Protest To The President March" Can you see him smirking...

(parody of "The Continental (You Kiss While You're Dancing)" by Leo Reisman & His Orchestra, from the movie "The Gay Divorcée") Beautiful molars Lovely bicuspid...

+The Twelve Gifts of Christmas On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me A Japanese transistor radio On the second day of Christmas, my true love g...

(based on "There's No Business Like Show Business") The man I chose to govern me And twenty million others Is not from Yale or Harvard, He's from dear old Warne...

Turn back the clock And recall what you did Back on the block where You lived as a kid And if you think every kid nowadays Is a nut or a kook or a fool, Just tu...

(parody of "Winchester Cathedral" by The New Vaudeville Band) No more-a my dough, No more-a my dough, No more-a my dough-de-o-dough Westchester Hadassah, I gave...

+When I Was A Lad When I was a lad I went to Yale, And I knew then that I could never fail For I studied very hard and furthermore, I polished up the apple for ...

+Won't You Come Home, Disraeli When Benjamin Disraeli was Prime Minister of England, And good old Queen Victoria was the Queen, Whenever she would need him for ...

+You Need An Analyst If you're always stealing goodies from a big department store, You need an analyst, a psychoanalyst If your pocket's full of little things ...

+You Went The Wrong Way, Old King Louie Louis the Sixteenth was the King of France in 1789 He was worse than Louis the Fifteenth He was worse than Louis the Fou...

+Your Mother's Here To Stay It's very clear: your mother's here to stay Not just a year, but ever and a day She came to stay just for Mother's Day, With the kid...

+You're Getting To Be A Rabbit With Me Though you once were the best bunny at the Playboy Club, You're getting to be a rabbit with me I just sit there and stare...