[spoken:]

ever hear the right wing crazies talk about the jewish conspiracy and how the jews run the media, and they have all the money, and they pretty much dominate the world no, well i've heard of it and that would pretty much leave one day of the year when no one else is around to have a whole year of planning of world domination, and that's christmas merry christmas buddies!

it's christmas eve and you know i am hardly sleeping
but there are no presents waiting for me on the floor
it's the one day of the year when i use what my super jewish powers are for (HEY!)

got introduced to the network at my bar mitzvah
got my code name and number it's #16761
while you were sitting aroudn the tree and that knockoff menorah,
you're idle, we work justice is done

princess di, we killed her el nino, we made it reggie white, is stupid bilyl joel, let's trade him

if the neo-nazis know we're part of the conspiracy,
and if it's as strong as they think, you think they'd be nicer to me
still mad about what happened to your pal jesus?
well, if he didn't die for your sins, you'd be going to hell with the rest of us

princess di, we killed her el nino, we made it
reggie white, is stupid bilyl joel, let's trade him

wouldn't you like to know what we do on christmas?
you think we're sitting around polishing our horns?
making soup with the blood of the christian born?
you think i'm being rude?
we go to the movies and eat chinese food