One day, I will build a fountain - drink and never grow old
Then I'll market an elixir that will eliminate the common cold
Find your sickness on my list, pay up-front and make a wish

One day I will work with animals, (incomplete)
All my stuff's completely natural, and when we're done we'll boil 'em down
for glue
we can use to re-adhere your lips to mine if you were here

Chorus:
There's a lot I will never do
Some fantastic, I know it's true
But not as much as my want to be with you

I can't stand to be in line long, so I built a new machine
It just measures up the distance, and then eliminates the folks between
One day I'll construct a satellite, and I'll name it after you
'Cause you are the greatest friend of all, except for when you split my lip
in two

To see the look upon your face as I launch you into space

(Chorus)

Bye bye, self-respect
I haven't had much of it since you left
I missed out on the best of you

Some day I will find the secret to your social chemistry
Then I'll print it on a T-shirt, and it'll make you wanna be with me
And if I wear it past your work, you'll see other guys are jerks
Much like pheremones for flies, you will not avoid my eyes

(Chorus)

Bye bye, self-respect
I haven't had much of it since you left
I missed out on the best of you

(x2)

Bye bye (repeated