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Betty Comden and Adolph Green
music by Leonard Bernstein
GO HOME!
GO WEST!
GO BACK WHERE YOU CAME FROM!
OH, WHY DID YOU EVER LEAVE OHIO?
A MILLION KIDS JUST LIKE YOU
COME TO TOWN EVERY DAY
WITH STARS IN THEIR EYES.
THEYRE GOING TO CONQUER THE CITY,
THEYRE GOING TO GRAB OFF THE PULITZER PRIZE,
BUT ITS A TERRIBLE PITY,
BECAUSE THEYRE IN FOR A BITTER SURPRISE.
AND THEIR STORIES ALL FOLLOW ONE LINE,
LIKE HIS,
LIKE HIS,
LIKE MINE!
BORN IN DULUTH,
NATURAL WRITER,
PUBLISHED AT SEVEN -- GENIUS TYPE --
WROTE THE SCHOOL PLAY,
WROTE THE SCHOOL PAPER,
SUMMA CUM LAUDE -- ALL OF THAT TRIPE --
CAME TO NEW YORK,
GOT ON THE STAFF HERE,
THIS WAS MY CHANCE TO BE HEARD.
WELL, SINCE THEN I HAVENT WRITTEN A WORD.
WHAT A WASTE,
WHAT A WASTE,
WHAT A WASTE OF MONEY AND TIME!
MAN FROM DETROIT,
WONDERFUL ARTIST,
WENT TO PICASSO -- PABLO SAID WOW!
SETTLED IN FRANCE,
BOUGHT HIM A BERET,
LIVED IN MONTMARTRE,
REALLY LEARNED HOW.
CAME TO NEW YORK -- HAD AN EXHIBIT,
ART CRITICS MADE A BIG FUSS.
NOW, HE PAINTS THOSE TOOTHPASTE ADS ON THE BUS!
WHAT A WASTE,
WHAT A WASTE,
WHAT A WASTE OF MONEY AND TIME!
GIRL FROM MOBILE,
VERSATILE ACTRESS,
TRAGIC OR COMIC,
ANY OLD PLAY,
SUFFERED AND STARVED,
MET STANISLAVSKY.
HE SAID THE WORLD WOULD
CHEER HER SOME DAY.
CAME TO NEW YORK,
REPERTOIRE READY,
CHEKHOVS AND SHAKESPEARES AND WILDES.
NOW, THEY WATCH HER FLIPPING FLAPJACKS AT CHILDS.
WHAT A WASTE,
WHAT A WASTE,
WHAT A WASTE OF MONEY AND TIME!
KID FROM CAPE COD,
FISHERMANS FAMILY,
MARVELOUS SINGER -- BIG BARITONE --
RENTED HIS BOAT,
PAID FOR HIS LESSONS,
STARVED FOR HIS STUDIES,
DOWN TO THE BONE.
CAME TO NEW YORK,
AIMED AT THE OPERA,
SING RIGOLETTO HIS WISH.
AT THE FULTON MARKET NOW HE YELLS FISH!
WHAT A WASTE,
WHAT A WASTE, AH -- FISH!
WHAT A WASTE OF MONEY AND TIME!
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