Like many a Mael,
I get angst in my pants
And goddamn it to hell,
It don't help if I dance

And you, you're not doing too well
All the blogs are about you, girl
They caught you in the park after dark
Giving head to a statue, girl
Oh, cruel!

Didn't mean to do you no harm,
I just underestimated my charm
And if I ever bother to tell you the truth,
Oh, baby, you're too much sugar
For my sweet tooth

You're on your honeymoon
And you're sending me notes
You hope to see me soon
You've got "see" wrapped
In quotes
I used to find it funny to say,
"What's your man got to do with me?"
But then I saw him downtown
Placing bets on the hounds
He was as big as a house!
We can't be messin' around!

Every time we kiss
It's like an inside joke
I always miss
Our love is like a tug-of-war
Don't touch me, girl,
I can't hug no more!