Came home a little early from the office found my wife actin' kinda strange
She was fidgety and highly nervous and her hair was sorta disarranged
Then I opened the door to my closet I thought something looked mighty queer
And then the man standin' there said well everybody's gotta be somewhere

Yeah everybody's gotta be somewhere old buddy I'm just passin' through
Just stopped in to look for them termites hope them pests ain't bothering you
Get my necktie there on the couch step aside and let me disappear
Everybody's gotta be somewhere I'd rather be anywhere but here

[ guitar ]

He said I respected all your suits man and I'm agly old moss can tear
And I'd sure feel bad if you ever get caught in your underwear
You oughta buy a new backyard cleaner I gotta hidden dirt in here
I'm a humaniterian doin' asocial word everybody's gotta be somewhere

Yeah everybody's gotta be somewhere would you believe I just happened by
I thought this was the doctor's office and I got something in my eye
I didn't know your wife was married and pardon me for drinkin' your beer
And everybody's gotta be somewhere I'd rather be anywhere but here
Yeah everybody's gotta be somewhere I'd rather be anywhere but here