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And if one day I should become A singer with a Spanish bum Who sings for women of great virtue I'd sing to them with a guitar I'd borrow from a coffee bar - Well, what you don't know doesn't hurt you
My name would be Antonio And all my bridges I would burn And when I sang a song they'd know I'd expect something in return... I'd have to get drunk every night And talk about virility With some old grandmother who might Be decked out like a Christmas tree
And no pink elephants I would see Though I'd be drunk as I can be Still I would sing my song to me About the time they called me Jackie
If I could be for only an hour If I could be for an hour every day If I could be for just one little hour Cute - in a stupid-assed way
And if I joined the social world Became procurer of young girls And I would have my own bordello My records would be number one And I'd sell records by the tonne All sang by many other fellows
My name would then be Handsome Jack And I'd sell boats of opium Whisky that came from Twickenham Offering queers and phoney virgins If I had banks on every finger A finger in every country And all the countries ruled by me I'd still know exactly where I'd want to be...
Holed up inside my opium den Surrounded by some chinamen I'd sing a song that I sang then About the time they called me Jackie
If I could be for only an hour If I could be for an hour every day If I could be for just one little hour Cute - in a stupid-assed way
Now tell me wouldn't it be nice That if one day in paradise I'd sing for all the ladies up there And they would sing along with me They'd be so happy they'd agree Coz down below is really nowhere
My name would then be Jupiter And I would know where I was going And I would become all-knowing My bits are very long and flowing... If I became deaf, dumb and blind Because I'd pitied all mankind And broke my heart to make things right I'd still know that every single night
When my angelic work was through The angels and the devil too Would sing my childhood song to me About the time they called me Jackie
If I could be for only an hour If I could be for an hour every day If I could be for just one little hour Cute - in a stupid-assed way
If I could be for only an hour If I could be for an hour every day If I could be for just one little hour Cute - in a stupid-assed way.
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