Me and my old lady
Ain't been getting along
If things don't get better
I'll soon be long gone

The situation is driving me insane
Somebody fetch me my hat and coat
And hand me my walking cane

(CHORUS)

Gotta put on my traveling shoes
Gotta put on my traveling shoes
Gotta put on my traveling shoes
Gotta put on my traveling shoes

I'm trying to tell you, boys
These hard headed women these days
The way they treat a man
Ain't nothing but a doggone shame

I talked and talked and talked
She didn't hear a word I said
Gonna get somebody's baseball bat
And send her out again

(CHORUS)