G C G
Dear Abby, Dear Abby; My feet are too long,

My hair's falling out and my rights are all wrong
G C G
My friends they all tell me I've no friends at all,
D G
Won't you write me a letter, won't you give me a call
C D G
Signed, Bewildered
G C G
Chorus: Bewildered,bewildered you have no complaint,

You are what you are and you aint what you aint
G C G
So listen up buster and listen up good,
D G
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood
C D G
Signed, Dear Abby

G C G
Dear Abby,Dear Abby, my fountain pen leaks

My wife hollars at me and my kids are all freaks
G C G
Every side I get up is the wrong side of bed,
D G
If it weren't so expensive I'd wish I were dead
C D G
Signed, Unhappy
G C G
cho: Unhappy,Unhappy, you have no complaint

G C G
Dear Abby, Dear Abby, you won't believe this,

But my stomach makes noises whenever I kiss
G C G
My girlfriend tells me its all in my head,
D G
But my stomach tells me to write you instead
C D G G
Signed, Noise-maker (cho: Noise-maker,Noise-maker, )

G C G
Dear Abby, Dear Abby, I never'd have thought,

That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught
G C G
We were sitting in the back seat just shooting the breeze,
D G
With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees
C D G G
Signed, Just Married (cho: Just Married, Just Married, )