Something seems wrong 'cause it sure ain't right
When I tried to park my car last night
From street to street there was no place
Tourists took all the parking space
I honked my horn and cried in vain
And wondered why all these people came
To Bethlehem – it made no sense
They displaced all the residents
And then it finally came to me, I knew the reason why
The yearly fair that makes the locals cry

Because it's
Musikfest, yeah, it's Musikfest
There's funnel cake and sausage with cholesterol to make your heart clot
Musikfest, yeah, it's Musikfest
Someone's making money but I still don't have a parking spot

The bratwurst has a funny smell
The vendors would rather be anywhere else
They groan and grumble and just look bored
And charge enough to make you poor
The Festers are their own freak show
There's mullets everywhere you go
And I guess the crowds must think they're grand
But I'm sick of these goddamn Peruvian bands
The big acts have a place, but the local talent's rare
As long as they make money they don't care

Because it's
Musikfest, yeah, it's Musikfest
There's polka and more polka and annoying little tykes and tots
Musikfest, yeah, it's Musikfest
Who are all these people who have turned my town to Stupidplatz

Mofo Dragons line Main Street
Raging hormones head to feet
Tourists drinking too much beer
Think that Jesus was born here
Is there a reason we're not clued in?
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Ach so, it's
Musikfest, yeah, it's Musikfest
With Kinderplatz and Liederplatz I'm turning Pennsylvania Dutch
Musikfest, yeah, it's Musikfest
Maybe if I drink enough I'll find a police horse to punch