Verse 1
There's an uptown party on tonight that we're invited to
All the jet-set people there with the finest wine and food
Sip some champagne, snort some coke and maybe swim some in the nude
But they can stick that trendy shit 'cause that's not me and you
A night down at the local pub is nearer what we like
Play the pinball, shoot some pool if the atmosphere is right
But sometimes it's too crowded there or some dickhead wants to fight
So stack the fridge and stoke the bong, we're stayin' home tonight

Chorus
Stack the fridge and stoke the bong we're stayin' home tonight
Well I'm a lover, not a fighter, and I'd rather fuck than fight
And we'll get smashed on piss 'n' hash and then we'll screw all night
So stack the fridge and stoke the bong we're staying home tonight

Verse 2
We don't need no people round for us to have some fun
To me a good night out with you means stayin' home alone
And I'd rather share my highs with you than share with anyone
We'll drink some booze and smoke a joint and turn each other on
Then we'll just lay down on that big old rug, then we'll dim the lights
Stick a dirty movie on and just wait for the highs
And then we'll hump and screw and fuck until our brains are fried
So stack the fridge and stoke the bong we're stayin' home tonight

Chorus
Stack the fridge and stoke the bong we're stayin' home tonight
Well I'm a lover, not a fighter, and I'd rather fuck than fight
And we'll get smashed on piss 'n' hash and then we'll screw all night
So stack the fridge and stoke the bong we're staying home tonight
So stack the fridge and stoke the bong we're staying home tonight
We'll just stack the fridge and stoke the bong we're staying home tonight