I remember breakfast
Used to be my favorite meal
Big ol' eggs and lots of butter
Food you could feel

Now it's figs and twigs and fiber
I'm pure as I can be
But devils call, angels fall
I want my BLT

You can't do that, you can't do that
There's no eating, cheating, trick, treating
You can't do that
You can't do that, you can't do that

Well, let's talk about my love life
It used to be so free
If I saw something I wanted
I just drag it on home with me

Now, you're talking blood tests
And sexual history
Aw, it used to be fun to do run, run
Now, it's life and destiny

You can't do that, you can't do that
There's no eating, cheating, trick, treating
You can't do that
You can't do that, you can't do that

Don't say it feels good, don't you do it
If it tastes good, throw it away
It's a sad truth, don't deny it
If you're gonna play, you're gonna pay

They don't read the constitution
Down there where I work
My boss thinks he's a Romeo
I think he's a jerk

He's always making passes
He's got hands in back of his head
He'd love to see me naked
Honey, I'd love to see him dead

You can't do that, you can't do that
There's no eating, cheating, trick, treating
You can't do that
You can't do that, no baby, you can't do that

There's no eating, cheating, trick, treating
You can't do that, you can't do that
Don't do that