[Orin]
When I was younger,
Just a bad little kid,
My momma noticed funny things I did-
Like shootin' puppies with a BB-Gun
I'd poison guppies, and when I was done,
I'd find a pussy cat and bash in it's head
Thats when my momma said
[Girls]
What did she say?
[Orin]
She said my boy Ii think someday
You'll find a way
To make your nat-u-ral tendencies pay!
You'll be a Dentist!

You have a talent for causing things pain
Son, be a dentist!
People will pay you to be inhumane
Your temperamant's wrong for the priesthood
And teaching would suit you still less!
Son, be a dentist!
You'll be a success!

((Next lines are spoken))
[Ronette]
Here he is, girls, the Leader of The Plaque
[Chiffon]
Watch him suck up that gas! Oh my God!
[Crystal]
He's a Dentist and he'll never-ever be any good!
[All Three]
Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis de Sade? Oh, that hurts! I'm not numb!

[Orin]
Aw shut up! Open wide! Here I come!
((Back to singing))
I am your Dentist!
[Girls]
(Goodness Gracious!)
[Orin]
And I enjoy the career that I picked!
[Girls]
(You love it)
[Orin]
I am your Dentist!
[Girls]
(Fitting braces!)
[Orin]
And I get off on the pain I inflict!
[Girls]
(You really love it!)
[Orin]
When I start extracting your molars-
[Girls]
(Don't try it!)
[Orin]
You girls will be screaming like holy rollers!
[Girls]
Dentist!
[Orin]
And though it may cause my patients distress
[Girls]
Distress!
[Orin]
Somewhere in heaven above me,
I know that my mama's proud of me!
Now I'm a dentist
And a success!

((The following final part is spoken))
[Orin]
Say "Ah"!
[Girls]
Ah
[Orin]
Say "Ah"!
[Girls]
Ah
[Orin]
Say "Ah"!
[Girls]
Ah
[Orin]
Now, spit!