Keep getting older and hairier
on my neck, back and derriere
but not atop the pate
dear DNA, let's negotiate!

I'll trade the fading vision, you could have that back
plus this 30-year-old-man belly's kinda wack
my hearing is nearing deafness and I wheeze
yo please save me from the wrist hurt disease
it's infeasible that these, a full list of ailments
should do anything but accrue I'll fail ten
times out of ten to age in reverse like mork
is there anything sadder than a dork
for whom the new hotness is not just inaccessible,
it's grumbled against? you kids, reduce your decibels!
don't make me come over there and shake my cane

[it's that rapper from the aarp and he insane!]

This old man, he rhymed once
he put up some valiant fronts
with a wick-wack bitter lack of youthfulness & charm
this old man kept rhyming on

joints creaking while I squeak around the stage,
hella grandmothers telling me I ought to act my age
deranged already, I don't got no brain medicine
if we were running out of food on a boat, I'd get jettisoned
or eaten I'm unsweetened
don't tell me that I got the shortest straw, I'm not a cretin
just a little senile and gassy and slow
but I bet I'm very salty and I could still row
let's gobble on that infant infants are useless
also very soft, which is good, 'cause I'm toothless
come on kids, you wanna get rescued or what?
don't mumble all amongst yourselves speak up!
I lost my earhorn the other day on the bus
you would think by the way you whippersnappers make a fuss
that I said something crazy, profound or obscene
wait, where'd the ocean go? where have you taken me?

This old man, he rhymed twice
he found this would not suffice
with a wick-wack bitter lack of youthfulness & vim
this old man was dour and grim

now frontalot's shopping for the top of the hill
should have bought a burial plot soon as I got ill,
but I foolishly thought that I could put it off