three important rules for breaking up
don't put off breaking up when you know you want to
prolonging the situation only makes it worse
tell him honestly simply kindly but firmly
don't make a big production
don't make up an elaborate story
this will help you avoid a big tear-jerking scene
if you want to date other people, say so
be prepared for the boy to feel hurt and rejected
even if you've gone together for only a short time
and haven't been too serious
there's still a feeling of rejection when somebody says
she prefers the company of others to your exclusive company
but if you're honest and direct
and avoid making a flowery emotional speech
when you break the news
the boy will respect you for your frankness
and honestly, he'll appreciate the kind straight-forward manner
in which you told him your decision
unless he's a real jerk or a cry-baby you'll remain friends

i'm head of the class
i'm a quarterback
my mom says i'm a catch
i'm never last picked
i'm a cheerleading chick

being attractive is the most important thing there is
if you want to catch the biggest fish in your pond
you have to be as attractive as possible
make sure to keep your hair spotlessly clean
wash it at least every two weeks
once every two weeks
and if you see johnny football hero in the hall
tell him he played a great game
(tell him you liked his article in the newspaper)

i'm the party star
i've got my own car
i'll never get caught
i'm the teacher's pet
i make football bets

i propose we support a one-month limit on going steady
i think it would keep people more able to deal with weird situations
get to know more people
i think if you're ready to go out with johnny
now's the time to tell him about your one-month limit
he won't mind
he'll appreciate your fresh look on dating
and once you've dated someone else
you can date him again
i'm sure he'll like it, everyone will appreciate it
you're so novel, what a good idea
you can keep your time to yourself, you don't need date insurance
you can go out with whoever you want to
every boy, every boy in the whole world could be yours
if you'll just listen to my plan
the teenage guide (to popularity)

i'm head of the class
i'm a quarterback
my mom says i'm a catch
i'm never last picked
i got a cheerleading chick
i'm the party star
i've got my own car
i'll never get caught
i'm the teacher's pet
i make football bets