Hello I'm your doctor, my name is Zach,
It looks like your paperwork has just came back
Now I'm not saying that you're not alright,
But what exactly were you up to last night?
Two rubber balls, a paper clip and a buttered roll,
All this stuff was found rammed up your hole

One tape dispensor, two cds, three plastic buttons, and
A pair of car keys one pair of glasses, a magic talking gnome,
One spool of thread, and a barbie dream home, four rubber bands,
An ice cream cone, my best friend Ben's apple i-phone,
Two snowmen, the north pole, two candy caines and five pieces of coal

Now I'm not saying that your not alright,
But what exactly were you up to last night?
One red ruler and a purple haired troll, all this stuff
Was found rammed up your hole

What we found during your colon-os-co-py it's really disgusting
And it sick-ens me! What we found lurking inside of your bum,
Three shot glasses and a pint of rum

Put it back in there get it away, that stuff should have never
Seen the light of day, stuff it back in there, put it back now
Two matchbox cars and a three pound burrow owl

A handful of foreign change, two Elvis stamps, a pair of headphones
And a magic genie lamp one green card, a pair of garden shears,
A whole bunch of glitter and six cans of beer, a hamster in a ball,
A leprechaun, Jimmy Hoffa's body and now I'm half way done
One can of speghettio's, and a microscope,
Six plastic spoons, and a can of coke

Now I'm not saying, that you're not alright,
But what exactly were you up to last night?