Tony's got a botfly in his forehead
Jenny's got a guinea worm in her shoe
Dave's got leeches,
Mike's got flu,
Everybody's got a parasite,
I've got you

First date: we thought it was great
We drank and we ate
We stayed up real late
Next week we hit our peak
Making the bedsprings creak
And now, one month later

Tony's got a botfly in his forehead
Jenny's got a guinea worm in her shoe
Dave's got leeches,
Mike's got flu,
Everybody's got a parasite,
I've got you

I guess that's what I get
For being a jerk instead of cooling my jets
You were a wolf in a sheepskin
Playing for keeps and I lost
And now, twenty years later

Tony's got a botfly in his forehead
Jenny's got a guinea worm in her shoe
Dave's got leeches,
Mike's got flu,
Everybody's got a parasite,
I've got you
I've got you!
I've got you!
Somebody tell me what to do
Should I try a bit of vinegar?
Has someone got an antidote?
Band-aids, cyanide, hydrogen peroxide,
Rum and coke if nothing else will do
Everybody's got a parasite,
I've got you

Tony's got a botfly in his forehead
Jenny's got a guinea worm in her shoe
Dave's got leeches,
Mike's got flu,
Everybody's got a parasite,
I've got you