Down at the switchboard of the old Tell N' Tale
They got some fascinating stories to tell
Connie and Val nice old gals
Minding the back of the store for 30 years or more

Hey Val do you remember that girl back in '72?
She looked like Cher sure took some getting used to
She was working here all summer and going to college
Yeah they musta been teaching her
some funny kinda knowledge
She was a nice enough girl
took a trip around the world
I don't remember her name though
Hey Val do you know?

Yeah, well honey the switchboard
Beats going to double features
You get to talking to some interesting creatures
Yeah Connie and Val coupla nice old gals
They like to take a little sherry
With the obituary

Hey Val do you remember that girl
who's ex-husband was a stalker?
That was the summer we had that punk rocker
Oh boy, what a crazy summer that was
Yes she wore a dog collar and some pink and blue fuzz
They were nice enough though
I wonder where did they go
And if that girl is still singing
Hey Val, that line is ringing

Down at the switchboard of the old Tell N'Tale
They got some fascinating stories to tell
Don't ever let 'em tell ya that their job is hell
Cause pretty soon it'll all be automated well
You remember that girl used to make us all lunch
Used to make us all laugh and called us honeybunch
Then she moved the whole family way back to Idaho
Well I surely did hate to see that girl go

Connie and Val nice old gals
They've seen a few wars but they're still pals
And they had a few babies
Smoked a million cigarettes
They don't need no one to help em
when they're placing a bet
Oh Connie and Val
Connie and Val
30 long years same locale
oh Connie and Val
Oh yes Connie and Val
Nice old gals that Connie and Val