Mother-in-law finally took that hint
(She's a moocher, a dirty moocher)
Picked up her suitcase, out the door she went
(She's a moocher, a dirty moocher)
Just when I'm thinkin' life sure is good
Looked down the window and there he stood
(He's a moocher) Brother-in-law
(He's a moocher) Brother-in-law

Mercy on me, what's this I see
(He's a moocher, a dirty moocher)
His hand's sneakin' out more money from me
(He's a moocher, a dirty moocher)
He got a fast deal cookin' up down the street
Five, ten or twenty that's all he need
(He's a moocher) Brother-in-law
(He's a moocher) Brother-in-law

There he goes eatin' everything in sight
(He's a moocher, a dirty moocher) Yeah
Picks up my cigar, asks me for a light
(He's a moocher, a dirty moocher)
Next thing he does is a natural bug
Sits in my chair, drops the ashes on the rug
(He's a moocher) Brother-in-law
(He's a moocher) Brother-in-law

When I married that woman, didn't know what I was doin'
(He's a moocher, a dirty moocher)
All her relatives are gonna be my ruin
(He's a moocher, a dirty moocher)
Now he's lazy, won't work, he never had a jo
Get out of my house you big fat slo
(He's a moocher) Brother-in-law
(He's a moocher) Brother-in-law
(He's a moocher) Get out of my house (a dirty moocher)
(He's a moocher) You big fat slob (a dirty moocher) You won't work
(He's a moocher) You never worked a day in your life (a dirty moocher)
(He's a moocher) You get out of my house (a dirty moocher)
(He's a moocher) Get yourself out of here (a dirty moocher)
(He's a moocher) You're no good (a dirty moocher)