Take a piece of tinsel and put it on the tree
Cut a slab of melon and pretend that you still love me
Carve out a pumpkin and rely on your destiny
Get in your car and cruise the land of the brave and free

But don't forget to understand
Exactly what you put on the tree
Don't believe the florist when he tells you
That the roses are free

Take a wrinkled raisin and do with it what you will
Push it into third if you know you're gonna climb a hill
Eat plenty of lasagna till you know that you've had your fill
Resist all the urges that make you wanna go out and kill

But don't forget to understand
Exactly what you put on the tree
Don't believe the florist when he tells you
That the roses are free

Throw that pumpkin at the tree
Unless you think that pumpkin holds your destiny
Cast it off into the sea
Bake that pie and eat it with me

Throw that pumpkin at the tree
Unless you think that pumpkin holds your destiny
Cast it off into the sea
Bake that pie and eat it with me