Somewhere far away where I roam
There live my buffalo twin in our twin buffalo home
He calls me by my native name
And takes good care of my native son
He even lets us drink spring water on Sundays 299 a gallon

And somewhere further down the road where I also roam
There lives my caterpillar cousin beneath a fancy engraved tomb head stone
In the middle of his southern town
Beneath a cemetery burial plot
He don't pay rent no more
But he sure likes the spot

But in the furthest place I've ever known
Where even I so rarely roam
There lives a boy who just come back from war
His flesh was wounded but he made it back home
His mother calls him by his given name
And the neighbors whisper how he prefers to be alone
And he gets nightmares about boys dripping blood sold for 299 a gallon

But when I get me all real tired
And I got no more strength to roam
I catch me a horse driven carriage ride
From a local man named Ethan Frome
He don't say much as he tips his hat
And he carries his body as heavy as lead
And he could have been flying through the snow on his sled
But he wife was in bed and the horses had to be fed
Besides it's 299 a story
Pay up it's just 299 a story
299 a gallon