I'm calling in sick
I'm calling in twisted
I was drinking two-fisted
I'm sick
I'm calling in twisted

Hanging with friends
We were doing slammers
They try and get me hammered
Boss, I said no
But they insisted

I'm calling in sick
I'm calling in bland
The biggest Freak-a-zoid ever known to man
I'm sick
I'm calling in twisted

I'm calling in sick
I'm calling in tired
Look man I am oh so wired
I'm sick
I'm calling in twisted

Won't be the first time I lost a good jo
Look at me now - a drunken slo
I'm sick
I'm calling in twisted

I'm calling in pissed
Hung over y'all
I'm gonna use the fake cough when I make that call
I'm sick
I'm calling in twisted

I'm calling in sick
I'm calling in twisted
I was drinking two-fisted
I'm sick
I'm calling in twisted

I'm calling in pissed
Hung over y'all
I'm gonna use the fake cough when I make that call
I'm sick
I'm calling in twisted

Yeah I'm sick
I'm calling in twisted

Yeah I'm sick
I'm calling in twisted

Yeah I'm sick
I'm calling in twisted