By Roger Brown

THERE IS NOTHING LIKE A BOAT RIDE,
THERE IS NOTHING LIKE A BOAT RIDE,
THERE IS NOTHING LIKE A FLOAT ON A BOAT RIDE
"HA! HA! HA! HA! THIS IS PREPOSTEROUS! WHERE'S MY FLUTE?"

WIND IS BLOWING ON THE WATER SO BLUE,
THE SEAGULLS ARE CALLING AND THE SUN SHINES THROUGH
THERE IS NOTHING I WOULD RATHER DO
THAN TO GO ON A BOAT RIDE
I WANT TO SAIL AWAY TO FAR AWAY LANDS
WHERE THE SUN SHINES DOWN ON GOLDEN SANDS
OH MY, BUT ISN'T IT GRAND TO GO ON A BOAT RIDE?
THERE IS NOTHING LIKE A BOAT RIDE,
THERE IS NOTHING LIKE A BOAT RIDE,
THERE IS NOTHING LIKE A FLOAT ON A BOAT RIDE
OH, I HOPE FOR A LIFE ON THE OCEAN WAVES,
EVEN IF I HAVE TO STOLE AWAY
I KNOW WHAT I WILL DO TODAY,
I WILL GO ON A BOAT RIDE (toot! toot!)
THERE IS NOTHING LIKE A BOAT RIDE,
(Nothing like a boat ride)
THERE IS NOTHING LIKE A BOAT RIDE,
(Nothing like a boat ride)
THERE IS NOTHING LIKE A FLOAT ON A BOAT RIDE

DIALOG:
THE NEXT MORNING, THE JOLLIES TOOK SCOUSE FOR A WALK
"OH, ISN'T HE CUTE? I JUST LOVE THE CLAWS!"
"THANK YOU, MAM"
"IT'S REALLY TRUE, HE SPEAKS!"
"I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS AMERICAN"
"A MOUSE LIKE ME BELONGS TO THE WORLD!"

THE CAPTAIN OF THE QE2:
"SPLICE ME WHISKERS! A TALKING MOUSE!"
"HE SINGS TOO, CAPTAIN"
"AMAZING! WHY DON'T WE ASK SCOUSE TO DO A NUMBER AT THE SHIP'S CONCERT?"
"IS THAT YOUR CAT, CAPTAIN?"
"THAT'S THE SHIP'S CAT HIS NAME IS GEOFFREY"
"I KNOW, WE'VE BEEN TALKING"
"TALKING?"
"IN ANIMO, EH ANIMAL LANGUAGE I'D LIKE TO ASK HIM TO THIS CONCERT"
"YES"
THE SHIP'S CONCERT AND THE JOLLIES I FULL SWING