My friends and I we're a bunch of geeks
so none of us has got a date at the end of the week
and if there's no cool hip punk rock show
Denny, Robin, and Woodsy's house is the place that we go

Dateless losers we don't care
if our pathetic love lives go nowhere
No matter where my life has led
I still have a "L" stuck to my forehead

We are the dateless losers
and even though I can't get a date
I've got somewhere to be tonight

We sit around and eat ice cream
crack jokes and watch really bad TV
and if you're a dateless loser too
then startin' a dateless loser club is the only thing left to do