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[Fredrik] She lightens my sadness, She livens my days, She bursts with a kind of madness My well-ordered ways. My happiest mistake, the ache of my life: You must meet my wife. She bubbles with pleasure, She glows with surprise, Disrupts my accustomed leisure And ruffles my ties. I don't know even now quite how it began. You must meet my wife, my Anne. One thousand whims to which I give in, Since her smallest tear turns me ashen. I never dreamed that I could live in So completely demented, contented a fashion. So sunlike, so winning, So unlike a wife. I do think that I'm beginning To show signs of life. Don't ask me how at my age one still can grow-- If you met my wife, you'd know.
[Desiree (speaking):]
Dear Fredrik, I'm just longing to meet her. Sometime.
[Fredrik]
She sparkles...
[Desiree]
How pleasant.
[Fredrik]
She twinkles...
[Desiree]
How nice.
[Fredrik]
Her youth is a sort of present--
[Desiree]
Whatever the price.
[Fredrik]
The incandescent--what?--the--
[Desiree (offering a cigarette):]
Light?
[Fredrik]
--of my life. You must meet my wife.
[Desiree]
Yes, I must. I really must. Now--
[Fredrik]
She flutters.
[Desiree]
How charming.
[Fredrik]
She twitters.
[Desiree]
My word!
[Fredrik]
She floats.
[Desiree]
Isn't that alarming? What is she, a bird?
[Fredrik]
She makes me feel I'm--what?--
[Desiree]
A very old man.
[Fredrik]
Yes--no!
[Desiree]
No?
[Fredrik]
But--
[Desiree]
I must meet your Gertrude.
[Fredrik]
My Anne.
[Desiree]
Sorry--Anne.
[Fredrik]
She loves my voice, my walk, my mustache, The cigar, in fact, that I'm smoking. She'll watch me puff until it's just ash, Then she'll save the cigar butt.
[Desiree]
Bizarre, but You're joking.
[Fredrik]
She dotes on--
[Desiree]
Your dimple.
[Fredrik]
My snoring.
[Desiree]
How dear.
[Fredrik]
The point is, she's really simple.
[Desiree]
Yes, that much seems clear.
[Fredrik]
She gives me funny names--
[Desiree]
Like?
[Fredrik]
"Old Dry-as-Dust."
[Desiree]
Wouldn't she just?
[Fredrik]
You must meet my wife.
[Desiree]
Yes, I must, yes, I must.
[Fredrik]
A sea of whims that I submerge in, Yet so loveable in repentance. Unfortunately still a virgin, But you can't force a flower--
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