::Jack Black (Narrator)::
A long ass fuckin' time ago,
In a town called Kickapoo,
There lived a humble family
Religious through and through
But yeah there was a black sheep,
And he knew just what to do
His name was young J
And he refused to step in-line
A vision he did see of
Fuckin' rockin' all the time
He wrote a tasty jam
And all the planets did align

::Jack Black (Son)::
Oh the dragons balls were blazin'
As I stepped into his cave
Then I sliced his fuckin' cockles,
With a long and shiney blade!
'Twas I who fucked the dragon,
Fucka lie sing fuck a loo!
And if you try to fuck with me,
Then I shall fuck you too!
Gotta get it on in the party zone!
I gots to shoot a load in the party zone!
Gotta lick a toad in the party zone!
Gotta suck a chode in the party zone!

AHHHHHHH

::Meat Loaf (Father)::
You've disobeyed my orders son,
Why were you ever born?
Your brother's ten times better than you,
Jesus loves him more
This music that you play for us
Comes from the depths of hell
Rock and roll's the devil's work,
He wants you to rebel
You'll become a mindless puppet;
Beelzebub will pull the strings!
Your heart will lose direction,
And chaos he will bring
You'd better shut your mouth,
You better watch your tone!
You're grounded for a week with no telephone!
Don't wanna hear you cry,
Don't wanna hear you moan!
You gotta praise The Lord when you're in my home!

::Jack Black (Son)::
Dio can you hear me?
I am lost and so alone
I'm askin' for your guidance,
Would you come down from your throne?
I need a tight compadre
Who will teach me how to rock
My Father thinks you're evil,
But man, he can suck a cock
Rock is not the devil's work,
It's magical and rad
I'll never rock as long as I am
Stuck here with my Dad

::Ronnie James Dio (Dio poster)::
I hear you brave young Jables,
You are hungry for the rock
But to learn the ancient method,
Sacred doors you must unlock
Escape your father's clutches,
And this oppressive neighborhood
On a journey you must go,
To find the land of Hollywood!
In The City of Fallen Angels,
Where the ocean meets the sand,
You will form a strong alliance,
And the world's most awesome band!
To find your fame and fortune,
Through the valley you must walk
You will face your inner demons
Now go my son and rock!

::Jack Black (Narrator)::
So he bailed from fucking Kickapoo
With hunger in his heart
And he journeyed far and wide
To find the secrets of his art
But in the end he knew
That he would find his counterpart
Rooooock!
Rah-ha-ha-ha-hock
Raye-yayayayaye-ya