(Heaton/Rotheray)

Vagabonds don't fall in love
They just wheel and they deal
So if I turn a funny colour when you kiss me
I can't help the way that I feel

Hooligans don't fall in love
They just break up others lives
So when I come to you on bended knee
Don't forget my twenty other wives

So why?
Turn to a life of violence and crime?
So why?
Why do you cheat and why do you lie?

Because there's always someone with a bigger car
There's always someone with a bigger cigar
If you've been far
There's someone who's been further than your far
When you make your cart, you get to the start
There's always someone in a faster cart
There's always someone in a faster cart
There's always someone in a faster cart

Gangsters don't fall in love
They just roam from town to town
So when we kiss and we hold and we whisper
Please don't ever write it down

Hooligans don't fall in love
They just lie and they drink
So if you say I won't say 'I will'
Then I won't I think!

So why?
Turn to a life of violence and crime?
So why?
Why do you cheat and why do you lie?

Because there's always someone with a bigger car
There's always someone with a bigger cigar
If you've been far
There's always someone who's been further than your far
At last you're straight and you make a new start
There's always someone with a better heart
There's always someone with a better heart
There's always someone with a better heart

But all in all we're not so bad
We never take from our own kind
Bad's quite good when it's all you've ever had
And no bloody good sounds quite refined